many common misconceptions involve self image

C11H15NO2
(±)-1,3-benzodioxolyl-N-methyl-2-propanamine;
(±)-3,4-methylenedioxy-N-methyl-α-methyl-2-phenethylamine;
DL-3,4-methylenedioxy-N-methylamphetamine;
methylenedioxymethamphetamine


when i said i pretended it didnt happen, i actually pretended it didnt happen; even to my self
my reflection did not include that fact.


i have been chasing a perfect moment for a very long time, and
it has nothing to do with love, or
my receiving or giving love, or the search for this love that i have somehow combined with this moment; this perfect moment
so closely realsied but then never found again.

it just wasnt there the next time.

sometimes i find it.
in another un-sustainable way, that i immediately expose
over expose
self indulge
self dilude
self express
self less
lose of everything useful

you are there waiting in the fantasy that has become the closest reminder of that perfect moment,
a moment representative of the un known
like something i had to morn just to prove it had, in fact existed at all.

there was a before that, and
it was all about me anyways. those feelings fill me
directed
across this new experience right at the past
the place i live
the recent past,
the moment it happened
and i knew, i was, and
it had been

the only moment i ever know for sure has exsisted,
the rest of it is past, changeable past
it simply did not happen
when i talk about that time period i just simply dont mention that it happened